Suffocate
by Becks Rylynn
Summary: You're beginning to think you're in a twisted, real life version of Cruel Intentions. Ruby/Haley/Dean.
1. Suffocate: The Story

_AN: So, this has to be the strangest and most spastic thing I have ever written. And yet, I somehow love it for what it is. A story of some very twisted people in a very dark story about a very odd couple. I started this story in March and it was going to be a multi-chapter story, but I found it the other day and decided to turn it into a quick oneshot. So, here it is. I know this is very different from the things I normally write and some of you may not be into it at all, but I honestly do adore it quite a bit._

_Suggested Listening:  
__Suffocate by Cold  
__Post Blue by Placebo  
__Catch and Release by Silversun Pickups  
__Front Row by Metric  
__Kiss With A Fist by Florence + The Machine (because it is the D/R anthem for this story)  
__also, the mandatory song that this story just screams for:  
__I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry  
__and I can't forget to add a Bethany Joy song:  
__Quicksand by Bethany Joy (recently re-released by her new duo Everly)_

* * *

**Title: **_Suffocate  
_**Summary:** You're beginning to think you're in a twisted, real life version of Cruel Intentions.  
**Fandom(s):** One Tree Hill and Supernatural.  
**Pairing:** Ruby/Haley, Haley/Dean, Dean/Ruby, mentions of past Nathan/Haley.  
**Genre:** Drama/Angst/Romance.  
**Rating:** T for language and themes.  
**Timeline:** AU for SPN and sometime after Lydia's death in season seven of OTH.  
**Spoilers:** General spoilers for both SPN and OTH.  
**Warnings:** As implied by the pairing line, there is femslash, but I feel a little weird warning for that. There's also some pretty dark themes, some talk of character death and a much loved character DOES take on somewhat of a villain role about halfway through.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

**Suffocate**

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

* * *

You used to be somebody. You used to be Haley James-Scott. You used to be a wife, a mother, a best friend, a daughter, a sister. Now...Now you're not sure what you are. Your friends don't talk to you anymore, your husband left and took your son with him and your family...well, what little is left of a once large and beautiful family is now a broken mess and none of them seem to care anymore. You're not Haley James-Scott anymore. You're not Haley James anymore.

Sometimes you're not even sure if you're still Haley.

* * *

You met the Winchester brothers on a Friday, late at night, under a full moon. You remember this, of course, because that was the night you became _this_.

Quinn was ripped away from you so horribly and shredded to pieces right in front of your eyes and Taylor was next. Guns blazing, eyes like fire, those boys came out of the shadows too late. Taylor got hurt but she was alive and not lying in pieces like Quinn was.

''She'll be okay, right?'' You had asked through suffocating sobs, holding tight to Taylor and pretending Quinn was at home and safe and not the pile of blood and flesh and bones behind you.

''She...'' The one who looked battle weary and broken and hardened beyond belief looked at the bloody mess that was Taylor's shoulder and winced. ''She got bit.''

The taller one, the one who looked so much like a little boy lost and almost, _almost_ reminded you of a male version of Brooke (sad and lonely and longing for something out of reach), swallowed hard. ''She got bit.''

And so it ended like this: ''Shoot me!'' Taylor screamed, hysteria and tears mixing together until she barely looked recognizable as the strong yet vulnerable, bitchy yet kind older sister. ''Shoot me, Haley, please! Please, it'll be better, I'll be better! I don't want to hurt you, Haley. I can't! Shoot me! _Shoot me_!''

And _bang!_

Your world ended and you lost everything with one shot.

* * *

Sam is sweet and sometimes he reminds you of a little boy. Sometimes he reminds you of _your_ little boy. But he is also fighting a losing battle with whatever lives inside his darkening soul and you think that is extremely tragic but you can't help him. You're just as damaged as he is, after all.

Dean does _not _remind you of a little boy. He reminds you of a soldier, hardened and rusted by years of war. He is irrevocably horny, slightly alcoholic and emotionally stunted. You're not sure what exactly it is that you're doing with Dean Winchester but whatever it is, it involves him pressing you into motel sheets or the backseat of his car and fucking you until you can't remember how sad and pathetic your life is and all you can remember is his name.

For someone so gruff, he is surprisingly gentle in bed. You think it might be because he's afraid of breaking you. But you lost the ability to break a long time ago so maybe he's just afraid of breaking himself.

You think you could fall in love with him. You could fall hard. You know you won't.

He won't let you.

* * *

You take to hunting like a fish to water, a bird to air, a hunter to the hunt. You can shoot, fight and wield a knife. You're ready for revenge.

Dean looks impressed, he laughs as he slings an arm around your shoulders. But you can see the grief hiding in his eyes and hear his apology without him ever saying it._ I'm so sorry this happened to you, sweetheart._

Sam doesn't even try to hide his sorrow. He frowns deeply and one night, waiting alone for Dean to get back with food, he turns to you and says, ''I'm sorry, Haley. For this life. You deserve better.''

''And you don't?'' You shoot back at him. ''Dean doesn't?''

He is all broken puppy dog eyes as he sets his jaw and rises to his feet. ''We're _soldiers_.''

''I can be a soldier too,'' you say.

His eyes darken considerably and he turns to the window, staring out into the darkness. ''You shouldn't be.''

* * *

Sometimes you feel like you're drowning on dry land and you can't even sing yourself to sleep. Your voice died a long time ago with Quinn and Taylor. When the darkness pulled you in, your husband took your son away from you and your friends stopped caring.

* * *

The rhythm comes easily.

You hunt, you eat, you sleep, you screw Dean, you _breathe_.

It's living without really living and it's all self destructive.

But it's a rhythm. A steady pattern, a constant. It's reliable and predictable and that's all that matters.

* * *

And then you meet _her_ and you forget the steps to this dance.

* * *

She falls from the sky during a hunt, landing on her feet, all devilish smirks and blond tendrils.

''Hello, boys,'' she drawls, cocking her head to the side. ''Need some help?''

While Dean grumbles, Sam smiles. ''Where have you _been_?'' He questions, exasperated but happy and you've _never _seen him smile like_ this_ before.

The blonde shrugs. ''Here, there, _everywhere._'' Then she looks at you with eyes so cold they make you shiver and you can't find the courage to look back. ''Who's this? You guys replace me already?'' Her eyes slide to Dean, smirking when she sees his hand is tight around your wrist like he wants to pull you away from her. ''Or is she just another toy of yours?''

He snarls, ''Fuck off, Ruby.''

She smirks at you.

You swallow.

* * *

Ruby is not just a girl, you learn. And she is not like you at all. She is fast and dangerous with eyes as black as the night sky. The fact that she is a demon should frighten and repulse you. But the only thing that frightens you is the fact that it doesn't.

She is a tangled web of contradictions. A demon who helps hunters. And she's strong, but you get the feeling that there is just something very _broken_ about her. Like you. She is brash, brave, strong, smart, she can be hard headed and stubborn, sometimes even downright cruel. She's actually a lot like Dean. But the one thing that stands out to you is how enigmatic she is. She's a mystery, surrounded in secrets that she hides behind those black eyes of hers. Something about that just makes you _crazy._

It scares you. How much you want to know everything about this strange blonde creature who has waltzed into your life with a confident swagger and a voice that sounds like velvet. It scares you for many reasons. For starters, she's dangerous. Dean has warned you against her more times than you can count. ''Ruby can kill you without breaking a sweat and she won't even feel bad about it,'' he had said.

''He's right,'' Ruby had drawled, hiding in the doorway. ''I probably wouldn't.''

The thing that scares you the most about Ruby, however, is that you haven't felt this desperate to be a part of somebody's world since Nathan.

* * *

She's electric, that girl. Bright bursts of energy, electricity and coiled passion that makes you tingle like nothing else. She's a sin, that girl. You had a _husband_. You _have_ a son, for God's sake! What would he think of you now? What would your friends think of you now? What would your sisters think of you now? ...What would your _mother_ think of you now? She's terrifying, that girl. Sparks and sins and heat that lies between the two of you wrap their hands around your neck and squeeze.

And she knows it.

She knows what she does to you. She knows and you can tell she enjoys watching everything you've ever known slip away from you because of confusing feelings stirring in your gut. She likes to make you tremble.

* * *

You suspect Dean knows.

It could have something to do with the new desperation you throw into your nights with him, trying to convince yourself that you don't feel a thing for _her._ He looks at you differently. Not bad. Not good. Just _different_. He looks at you like he can see inside of you. Not like he's_ been _inside of you (which, admittedly, he has, but that's a whole different issue), but like he can _actually_ see right through your walls and to the things you hide from him. It's just a gut feeling, but you think he knows.

Your suspicion is confirmed one day when you hear something you're sure you weren't meant to hear.

* * *

You overhear things you shouldn't sometimes. You're quiet and small, so you can hide in places other people can't and you are an _excellent_ listener. You've eavesdropped many times before. It's nothing new. But this is the only time you've really overheard something worth hearing.

''So,'' Dean's saying with a small scoff, lips curved into that all too familiar smirk as he gives Ruby a onceover. ''You're gay. That explains a lot. I guess Hell makes you horny, huh?''

In response, she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, tossing him one of those careless glares of hers that have the power to make even the toughest person feel about two feet tall. ''I'm not gay, Dean.'' She shrugs and smiles unapologetically. ''I just really want to screw your girlfriend until she can't see straight. Let alone remember who you are. That doesn't make me gay, that just makes me picky about my fuck buddies.''

He sighs impatiently and pinches the bridge of his nose. ''You make me want to drink myself into a stupor.''

She laughs. ''You want to know my motto? If it moves, breathes, speaks and is not Dean Winchester then it's fuckable.''

''Look, you demonic whore, I want you to stay away from Haley.''

''Does that mean there's no hope for a threesome?''

He falters momentarily, recovering with a scowl and positively _beastly _eyes. ''I mean it, Ruby.''

''So do I. You know, I think you'd really enjoy it. Me, Haley, you. I'll let you - ''

Whatever crude thing she is going to say is cut off when Dean slams her up against the wall and wraps his hand around her neck. Her only reaction is a grin, running her finger down his chest. ''That's okay. I like it rough.'' Her eyes flash black. ''You remember.''

''Stay away from her,'' he growls in her ear and you press yourself against the wall. ''She's got enough to deal with as it is. She doesn't need a demonic stalker chick lusting after her.''

''Know what I think?'' She prys his hand off her neck and shoves him away from her. ''I think the only reason you're so worried is because you_ know _she wants me too.''

He doesn't answer for a moment and you have to swallow because...you'd love to know what you want. But to be perfectly honest, you don't. Do you want Dean? Do you want to go home and try again with Nathan? Or do you want to give into those undisclosed wants and cravings that keep you up at night?

''She doesn't want you,'' Dean says adamantly. You get the feeling he doesn't even believe himself.

''Don't be so sure about that,'' Ruby says. Her eyes move over to the doorway and much like Dean, it's almost like she's looking right at you and she can see inside you to where you keep all your darkest desires hidden away. A strangled gasp escapes your lips and your body tingles.

You run.

* * *

It surprises you when it happens. It shouldn't. But it does.

It happens in the rain, which also shouldn't surprise you, but it does.

You clean out a nest of vampires with Dean, Sam and Ruby and it's the first time you've ever seen a real, live (undead?) vampire so you're still a little buzzed on adrenaline when it's over. Walking through the woods, your voice is fast and loud and your skin is hot despite the cold rain beating down on you and you're shaking only it's not because you're cold. It feels a little bit like when you drank four Red Bulls and then washed those down with three cups of coffee that one time in high school.

''I hope you realize it's going to be hell for you when you crash,'' Ruby says, simply.

You blink rain out of your eyes and feel a smile start on your lips. Dean and Sam got fed up with your mile a minute speech about five minutes ago and now they're too far ahead to hear your voice, but Ruby stuck around and...it's the first time you've been alone with her and not felt tingly and uncomfortable. ''Is it wrong that back there all I could think about was how glad I was that real vampires don't sparkle? Seriously, that would've been terrifying.''

When her lips twitch, she looks away from you.

Your smile widens and you launch into a story about how you used to teach English and how it is your personal belief that Stephanie Meyer sucks ass. Your rant is cut short when she suddenly reaches out and yanks you towards her. For a moment, you go silent and have this brief moment of panic. And then you realize she was just saving you from running into a tree.

Except her hand lingers on your wrist for a moment too long and your heart almost beats right out of your chest. But that could be from the adrenaline.

To escape the awkwardness that follows - from you, not her. You don't think Ruby knows what awkward means - you tell another story. The words all blur together and you don't know what story you're telling or how it ends; you just know that you're trying your hardest to run from the silence. She's becoming increasingly annoyed, her thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of her nose as she lets out a long suffering sigh.

And then_ IT _happens.

She lunges forwards before you can stop her, presses you up against a tree and crashes her lips onto yours.

She tastes like an odd combination of sulphur and peppermint and her lips are soft and her hands are soft and she is nothing like Nathan. Or Dean.

With a smirk, she draws away from you and tilts her head to the side. ''I'm not even a little bit sorry,'' she deadpans. ''I really needed you to shut up.''

You watch her walk away with wide eyes and silence filling up every open space. You press your fingers to your lips, swallow hard and it's only when you allow yourself to breathe that it hits you.

You kissed her back.

* * *

''Do you love me?''

Dean looks up from his coffee and eyes you strangely, looking you up and down. You're sure you must look like a mess. Mussed hair and circles under your eyes. Sleeping never comes easy for you anymore, your dreams make you shake in your sleep, visions of blood and horror and Taylor and Quinn and the life you left behind. But last night was even more difficult because you could still feel her lips on yours and...and there was this feeling in your gut that you couldn't make go away. Like a lone butterfly trying to make you lose your mind. She's in your head, the thoughts strangling you, the feelings running just a little deeper than any feelings you might have for Dean.

He swallows a gulp of the coffee and his rough fingers graze your cheeks. ''I could,'' he whispers, voice tight and hoarse.

Guilt eats away at you like a disease. Your throat aches with it, your eyes burn with it and you have to look away from him. ''I don't...I don't think I can love you,'' you admit softly, grimacing slightly.

When you look back at him, he's stoic and emotionless and you wonder why you ever thought he'd be anything but. ''I figured,'' he shrugs. ''I never thought you could.''

You think he might be lying.

A sigh escapes your lips and you reach across the table to take his hand gently. What you think could be a tender moment turns into something else all together when he suddenly grips your wrist, jaw twitching as he meets your eyes. ''Why _her_?'' He spits out.

You take a breath. ''Ask me when I know.''

''She'll destroy you,'' he warns. ''I don't mean she'll hurt you, I don't mean she'll break your heart. I mean she'll _destroy_ you. She'll turn you into something bitter and resentful and she won't care a bit. That's what she does, Haley. She chews people up and she spits them out. The woman is a freaking _black widow_.''

And that is when, for the first time, you see it in his eyes.

''Is that what she did to you?'' You ask bravely and he drops your wrist, eyes flashing with fire.

Sitting back against booth, he crosses his arms and can't look you in the eye. ''I think you should go, Haley.''

* * *

''How does it feel, Dean?'' You hear Ruby ask, the tone of her voice laughing and dark. ''To know your girl dumped you for another girl? That has to sting.''

''You know something?'' Dean says. ''I don't think I've ever hated anyone like I hate you.''

She grins. ''I think what you really hate is the fact that you _don't_ hate me. Not even a little bit.'' Her fingers curl tight around his shirt and his face twists like he's in pain. ''As much as you want to, you can't hate me. Wanna know why? Because you _love_ me. And you _always_ will.''

He doesn't answer for a long time, tearing his eyes away from her. He looks like he's suffering. Suffocating under her unflinching harsh gaze. ''Go away,'' he finally forces out, voice strangled and pained. ''Get away from me, you _bitch_.''

It suddenly crosses your mind that this whole thing could have nothing to do with you and everything to do with Dean. It's a bitter little pill to swallow, but...this whole thing, this seduction thing she's got going, it's all just a way of getting under Dean's skin, isn't it?

* * *

You confront her late on a Friday night, wind blowing through your hair, fire burning in your heart. That lone butterfly inside of you? Yeah, it's _dead._

''Ruby!''

She stops walking but doesn't turn around.

''This game you're playing with me,'' you speak with more courage than you actually have, lips turned downwards, anger and betrayal in your eyes. ''It really has nothing to do with me, does it? You don't care about me! You don't want me. You don't have feelings for me. You're just trying to hurt Dean, aren't you? I'm just a pawn in your twisted little game, aren't I?'' Rage boils inside of you, white hot and painful. ''You're cruel,'' you snarl. ''You know that, right? I thought you were different. But you're just as bad as the others! Dean doesn't deserve this!''

She whirls around with blackened eyes and you take a step back when she stalks forwards. ''Don't, Haley! Don't tell me what he deserves!''

''You're hurting him,'' you protest.

''Good.''

You laugh bitterly and shake your head. ''What could he have possibly done to deserve - ''

''You don't know anything about him!'' She screams, pointing an accusing finger at you. ''You don't know what he's like and you don't know what our relationship is like! Do not come into my life and start judging me, Haley, because you don't know _anything!_ My relationship with Dean is a twisted freak show. He hurts me, I hurt him. That is the way it works. I hit him, he hits me back. Mutually abusive, dark and warped, destructive, that's me and that's Dean and that's the way it is. We play games, we hurt each other, we - ''

''So that's all I was?'' You yell back at her, fingers itching at your side. ''Part of a game?'' When she doesn't answer, you feel your eyes begin to water. ''Was I game to you?''

''He played you too!''

''Was I a game?'' You repeat, hysteria growing inside of you.

''Don't look for any redeeming quality in us, Haley,'' Ruby says, shaking her head. ''Especially not me. I'm a demon. I'm not like you, I can't - ''

_''Was I a game?''_

''Yes!''

You silence, heart pounding in your chest. You shouldn't be surprised. You really shouldn't. But some part of you had been hoping she would say you were more than a game. Swallowing, you blink against tears of rage and hurt and betrayal. It's not just her either. She's...always been scary. She's always been something intimidating and frightening. But Dean...he was supposed to be someone you could trust. And you were just a chess piece in his little game of seduction and destruction. You're beginning to think you're in a twisted, real life version of Cruel Intentions.

''Is that what you wanted to hear?'' Ruby snaps at you, taking a step closer. ''Does that make it _better_, Haley? You're a game. How does that feel, huh?'' When you flinch like her words are a physical blow, she sighs heavily and shakes her head. ''Listen,'' she says. ''I'm not going to lie to you. I did feel something for you. But Dean didn't. He may technically be a human, but when it comes to me, he loses himself in this game. You should know that.''

But honestly, you're still stuck on another part of her dialogue. ''You felt something for me?'' Oh, god, you think you might be losing your mind. That's the part you're focusing on? Ruby is a bitch. Dean is a jackass. They've played you for a fool and you're focusing on the part where Ruby said she felt something for you? Have you reverted back to the teenage years?

Ruby falters momentarily, like she hadn't realized she had let that part of information slip. ''Maybe...I don't...Look...'' She sighs again and brings a hand to her forehead. ''Look, Haley, you're out, okay? You're out of the game. You know what we're really like now, you know how fucked up Dean and I are. Why don't you just leave? Go home.''

There's a pang of longing, loneliness and unbearable pain in your chest. ''I can never go home,'' you whisper. ''That's not my life anymore.''

''Well, this shouldn't be your life either.''

It breaks you.

You've always been the nice girl, the sweet girl, the tutor, the wallflower, the good wife, good mother, good friend. You've always been so sweet and kind, listening when people tell you to do something. Even when everything was torn away from you and you started hunting, you always listened to what Dean and Sam had to tell you. You_ always _took their orders. And you always had a smile when it looked like they needed one, even when you felt like you were dying inside. Well, you know what? You're tired of being sweet and you're exhausted with listening to what people tell you to do.

For once in your life, you want to be bad.

You want to be _wicked._

Your eyes pool with flames, your chest heaves and that one lone butterfly is resurrected, turning into thousands upon thousands of the creatures that flutter and swam inside of you. When she turns to walk away from you, you call out her name ''Ruby!'' and she doesn't even have time to react. As soon as she turns around, you close the distance and kiss her with all of that heat that worms in your veins. She is not hard to persuade; she kisses back almost immediately. Her fingernails claw at your bare arms, making a gasp escape your lips, but you kiss her with fervor and hunger and lust and...

Know what?

You can play games too.

* * *

Despite the confidence and the smirk, Ruby is a little bit self-loathing.

You learn that the morning after you've pulled her into your motel room and let yourself _take_ instead of_ give_.

When you open your eyes in the morning sunlight, drawing in a breath of air that smells like summer heat and stale motel room, you stretch lazily on the bed, tugging the sheet that covers your naked body closer. With a satisfied smile still gracing your lips, you roll over just in time to see Ruby pull her shirt over her head. Grinning (because it feels surprisingly good to be so bad), you push yourself into a sitting position. ''Hey.''

Ruby barely glances over her shoulder; licking dry lips as she reaches down to retrieve her jacket from the mess of your clothes on the floor. ''Hey,'' she greets tonelessly.

You frown at her tone, automatically making a grab for your jeans. ''Are you okay?''

''I'm fine,'' she snaps, shrugging into her jacket.

You wriggle into your jeans and toss on your shirt carelessly. ''Are you sure? Because you seem a little - ''

''Haley,'' she whirls around to face you, eyes hard and frustrated. ''Last night was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have...'' She trails off, shaking her head with a wince.

''You didn't,'' you insist. ''You didn't do anything wrong, Ruby. I was the one who wanted this. I...'' You take a small step towards her, noticing how badly she wants to move away from you. ''I still do.''

''You don't understand!'' Ruby hisses, pulling away from you when you reach for her. ''This - whatever _this_ was - is just ammunition for Dean. It's just another thing he can use against me.''

You arch an eyebrow and cross your arms. ''You're afraid of Dean?''

''_I'm_ not afraid of Dean,'' she says with a barely there smirk. ''Believe me, I can handle Dean. I'm only afraid of what he'll do to _you_. When it comes to me, he's a monster. Don't you realize that? He's had you under his thumb for all of this time.''

''I can deal with Dean,'' you say, grasping her jacket in your hands. ''I just want - ''

''You don't know what you want.'' She steps away from you with her lips drawn into a tight line, her eyes blank and her hair tangled and messed, golden rays of sunlight bouncing off her hair. ''I know you don't. I can see it in your eyes. You're confused and you're lost and you need something to hold onto. Do I honestly seem like I'm stable enough to hold you up, Haley? Look at my life. I can't even hold myself up. Just..._go home_. Try again with your husband.''

''My husband thinks I'm insane,'' you whisper. ''He thinks I'm an alcoholic crazy person who should be locked up. He took my son and he left me because I had to shoot my sister in the head. I think he knows I did it too. The only reason I'm not in a padded cell right now is because I left town before he could call the men in the white coats.'' You have to force yourself to breathe after it all comes out because it's the first time since it happened that you've actually admitted everything.

''I'm sorry for that,'' she says softly. ''Haley, I am _so_ sorry your life turned out this way. But this,'' she gestures towards the unmade bed. ''This has to mean nothing.'' She turns away from you before you can reach for her and without a backwards glance, she stalks out of the room, leaving you behind not as elated as you were before. You flinch when the door slams shut and let out a breath you hadn't known you were holding, sitting down on the bed gingerly.

You last about a minute. A minute of feeling sorry for yourself and then you decide you will not wallow in your self pity. You're not that girl anymore. You're not the girl who cries over rejection. Instead, you decide to do something much more productive. You decide to get angry.

And you already know who your first target is going to be.

* * *

Eight months. No. No, wait. Eight and a _half _months. Eight and half months they've been playing you. Every movement, every smile, every kiss, every word they have ever spoken to you has all been part of their terrifying need for destruction. Those conversations you've overheard? All part of their plan. Dean's overprotective ''she's a black widow'' was fake. His ''stay away from Haley'' was scripted. That broken look in his eyes when he told Ruby to go away was all for show. Ruby's broken character now. She's gone off script, told you to get away. But Dean...

Dean's still playing his part.

What. A. Dick.

You have to hand it to him, though. He is a good actor.

Lying sprawled out on the hood of his car, you stare up at the blue sky and twirl the heavy object in your hands, waiting for Dean to step out that door. You're well aware that every morning, he leaves the motel room before Sam does. This time, he'll have a surprise waiting for him. You have all these things you want to say to him. You have this whole big speech planned out in your head. But when you hear the door open and hear his voice, all that anger comes back and suddenly all you really want to do is kick him in the family jewels. It's the least he deserves.

''Haley?''

Sitting up, you smile pleasantly even though your heart is racing and place the object in your hand in your lap calmly. ''Morning, Dean. Sleep well?''

He blinks at you, small smile starting on his lips. ''Are you all right?''

''Peachy. You?''

''Haley - ''

''I talked to Ruby last night.'' Also, there was the screwing later on. But he doesn't need to know that part.

His eyes darken and he crosses his arms over his chest. ''What did she do? If she did something to you - ''

''Cut the crap, Dean.'' You roll your eyes and slide off the hood of the car. ''Now that I'm aware of what you're doing, you're not entirely convincing. Actually, you're not even a _little _convincing. I don't think you'll be winning an Oscar anytime soon.''

''Haley, I don't know what you're talking about,'' he says, shaking his head. ''Whatever she told you, it's not true. Ruby is a vindictive bitch and a compulsive liar. She's a demon, for God's sake. Are you really going to believe anything she tells you?''

You didn't come here planning on sending a right hook to his face. That part just happens. ''Stop it,'' you order, voice low and tinged with disgust. ''I know who you really are now and I know what you've been doing to me.''

He recovers from the punch quickly, staring at you with sad eyes that once upon a time could have convinced you. ''Haley, I didn't do anything to you! I care about you! Ruby's messed up. She's insane. She's...'' He trails off, searching your eyes desperately. After a moment passes, he shakes his head and lets out a breath. ''Aw, hell,'' he mutters, smirk forming on his lips. ''What's the point?'' He laughs, mirth dancing in his eyes and he grins. Not a smirk, not a half smile, an actual shit-eating grin that makes you cringe. ''Yeah, I'm a bastard,'' he shrugs. ''What are you going to do about it, Hales?''

''_Don't_ call me Hales.''

''Ooh,'' he circles you slowly. ''Finally grow a backbone, huh?''

''Screw you.''

''You already have,'' he drawls, leaning closer to you. ''You know, you smell like her. Tell me, what _have_ you been up to, Haley James?''

''You played me,'' you whisper. ''For eight and half months. You played me!''

''Spare me the victim speech,'' he sneers. ''Ruby already called off the game yesterday. I have no use for you anymore.''

''I want you to tell me why,'' you demand.

He looks at you for a long time before he smiles again, a laugh escaping his lips. ''Because, Annette,'' he says. ''Sometimes Kathryn and I get a little bored with our lives and our relationship and _this_...this is _fun_.''

''Kathryn and Annette.'' You smile, taking a step away from him. ''Does that make you Sebastian? 'Cause, spoiler alert, Dean; Sebastian _died_ in the end.''

He rolls his eyes and presses his lips together. ''Okay, I'm getting a little bored.''

''Oh, don't worry, babe,'' you pat his cheek. ''Things are about to get real exciting.''

''As exciting as fucking Ruby?'' He laughs again, bouncing on the balls of his feet. ''Hey, what'd she tell you to get you into bed anyway? Did she tell you I smacked her around a bit? She's a master at the battered girlfriend bit. That one has gotten me in some deep shit in the past. Did she tell you she loved you? She's done that before too. Got a stalker out of it once.''

''No,'' you say hollowly, backing away from him. ''She told me the truth.''

Before he can stop you, you turn around, raise the crowbar and bring it down with force, smashing out the Impala's headlights. This hurts him way more than anything else could. You know that. And when he screams like a little girl, he only proves your theory is, in fact, correct. You do it again, barely hearing his cry of, ''you crazy bitch!'' Again and again you hit the car until you're trembling with rage and strong arms are winding around your waist and pulling you away from the car.

''Haley! Haley, stop it! What are you doing?''

_Sam._

You go still in his arms, staring up at him with wide eyes. Your breath catches and you glance over his shoulder. The tension in Dean's body and the way he's glaring at you gives you everything you need. ''He doesn't know, does he?''

''Haley,'' Dean growls, ''I swear to God - ''

''Know what?'' Sam's arms slip away from you and he looks in between the two of you curiously. ''Know _what?_''

Dean doesn't look so smug now, panic lining his eyes as he looks at you with downright _pleading _eyes. A small smile flickers on your lips and you let the crowbar clatter to the ground. ''Dean,'' you say, composure returning to you. ''I hope you realize what this means.''

He scowls at you, snarling out one last, ''Bitch.''

You cross your arms. ''Dean Winchester,'' you say slowly. ''I own you now.'' His eyes widen momentarily and then anger clouds over in his green eyes as he takes what you're sure is meant to be a threatening step towards you. ''You touch me and I will tell him everything,'' you warn. ''Every dirty little detail of what you really are.''

Sam's eyes flicker back and forth between you and Dean. ''Dean,'' he starts, shaking his head. ''What is she talking about?''

All rage leaves Dean's eyes when he looks at his brother and you almost sigh because isn't that the man Dean Winchester is _supposed_ to be? ''No more games, Dean. No more games, no more toys. I need you to promise me that I'm the last one. If you don't agree, I'll tell everyone. I'll tell Bobby and Ellen and Sam. I swear to God, I will tell everyone you love _everything_.''

''They'd blame her,'' he says.

You smirk. ''Depends on how I tell the story.''

''How can you trust me?'' He asks. ''Even if I agree, how do you know you can trust me? How do you know I won't hurt you?''

''Please,'' you scoff. ''You may be a world class dick, but you don't beat on women. Except maybe Ruby.''

Dean looks at you for a long time with a clenched jaw, arms crossed, breathing labored. You get the sense that he really doesn't want to give up his games. But you know he'd do anything for Sam. ''Fine,'' he rasps out after a moment, scowling at you. ''No more fucking games.''

''Great.'' You beam at him, nodding happily. ''I'm glad we got that settled. Oh, Sam,'' you turn around and pat his shoulder sympathetically. ''I'm so sorry.''

''For...what?''

''I'm sorry your brother is an asshole.''

''Hey, Haley!''

You sigh tiredly and turn around to face Dean. ''What now?''

''She'll come back to me,'' he says confidently. ''She always does.''

''Yeah? Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?''

When you walk away, you hear Sam's voice over your shoulder saying, ''Oh, god, Dean, what have you _done_?'' and you know the destruction there is only beginning.

* * *

You leave.

There's no way you're going to continue hunting with Dean and Sam after that. Besides, you're confident you can handle yourself just fine. Despite their flaws, the Winchester brothers are great hunters and they've taught you everything you know. You can make it on your own. ...Okay, you're _pretty sure _you can make it on your own.

And you do. You do what you have to do. You fall into that old rhythm of breathing, hunting, eating and sleeping and before you know it, a month has passed. A month without people to talk to. It's a lonely life a hunter leads. You never realized that when you were on the road with Dean and Sam. Know what else? You miss Ruby more than you will ever admit.

After a month and one week, you simply can't take the loneliness and silence anymore. You're this close to actually going back to Tree Hill and that is just not something you will ever allow yourself to do. (At least not yet.) So you drag yourself to Bobby's.

He greets you like he always does. With a bear hug and a watered down beer. ''How've you been, Haley?'' He asks gruffly. ''Heard about you and Dean. Shame.''

Your fingers curl around the beer bottle in a vice like grip and you smile tightly. ''Things happen,'' you manage to force out half heartedly. ''We never woulda worked out anyway. Too different.'' Also, Dean was using her the entire time. That was part of it too. ''Hey, Bobby,'' you place the beer down on the table and pick at your cuticles nervously. ''You haven't...happened to have heard from...from Ruby recently, have you?''

''Ruby?'' Bobby frowns and arches an eyebrow. ''Now, why would you wanna go and waste your time with her? I know Sam's got a soft spot for her, but the stories Dean tells - ''

''The stories Dean tells are _stories_,'' you say firmly. Goddamn it, that jackass has everyone believing him, doesn't he? ''She's...She's really not as bad as he thinks,'' you say softly. ''She's not like other demons.''

''Ain't that the truth,'' Bobby says with a shake of his head. ''Well, darlin', last I heard, she was workin' on a nasty witch problem in Iowa.''

Iowa, huh?

* * *

She finds you.

Halfway to Iowa, she shows up in the middle of the night. It's almost rude. It's the _middle of the night_, you're sleeping in a dirty motel room in some podunk town and then there's a knock on the door that jolts you out of your slumber. Grumbling, you pull yourself out of bed and stumble over to the door. As soon as you open the door, of course, your eyes widen in shock and you stumble backwards. ''Ruby!''

She enters the room without an invitation. ''Haley,'' she greets. She hops up onto a table and crosses one leg over the other. ''Heard you were lookin' for me.'' She tilts her head to the side, leaning forwards and letting you catch a glimpse of her shirt that shows off more cleavage than anything you have _ever_ worn. ''What do you want?''

Instinctively smoothing down your bed hair and glancing down at your ratty pajamas self consciously, you take a seat on the bed and fold your arms across your chest because you happen to be wearing an old Care Bear t-shirt and that is...so embarrassing it's not even funny. ''I haven't seen you in awhile,'' you say nonchalantly. ''I just wanted to make sure you were okay and since I don't have any Winchesters weighing me down, I thought I'd...check up on you. So,'' you clear your throat, shifting under her unwavering gaze. ''Are you?''

''Am I what? Okay?'' She laughs and you wince because it is not a happy laugh. ''Well, gee,'' she slides off the table. ''Let's review the past month for me, shall we? I fucked you, you bashed Dean's headlights in with a crowbar, threatened him and he _blamed me for it!_ The epic beat down that followed will forever be talked about by the manager of that motel. He dumped a bucket of holy water over my head, I broke his finger, I called him a bastard, he called me a hell whore, and then we were arrested for a domestic dispute. So, no, Haley. I am not _okay. _Did you not once stop to think that maybe that game was all I had?''

''That _game_,'' you sneer, leaping to your feet. ''Destroyed innocent people.''

''Right,'' she shakes her head. ''So naturally, it's Saint Haley to the rescue.''

''You know what? If that game was the highlight of your life, maybe I don't care if you're okay,'' you snap, glaring at her. ''It was cruel and unnecessary and - do you love him?'' Whoa. That sentence ended in a very different place then it started.

Even she seems thrown by the question and she's _Ruby_ for Christ's sake. Frowning, she wraps her arms around her middle and avoids your eyes. ''...Yes...''

''Jesus, Ruby.'' You wrinkle your nose. ''Why?''

''I don't know!'' She scowls at you. ''I just do, okay? In our own twisted way, we're perfect for each other, don't you think?''

''No. I think you deserve someone better. Someone who won't, you know, abuse you. Someone you won't abuse back. I think you need someone who cares about you.''

She laughs but it sounds pained and it gets caught in her throat. ''Then you don't know me very well.''

''Ruby,'' you frown and move forwards. She's more damaged than you can ever image, isn't she? ''Whatever Dean has beat into your head, it's not - ''

''It's not just Dean,'' she shakes her head. ''It was there before Dean, okay? Haley, I'm a demon. A _demon_. Spawned from Hell. Worthless trash. What part of that isn't getting through your head?''

''You are not worthless trash.''

''Oh, _please_.'' She rolls her eyes. ''Stop trying to save me from myself, Haley. This isn't a movie. And if it were, it'd be less_ Imagine Me and You _and more _Kissing Jessica Stein_.''

''I don't think you're half as bad as you think you are,'' you state with a nod.

''I think you're annoying. And stubborn. You don't give up very easily. Some people might see that as a character flaw you kno - ''

You step forwards and cut her off by pressing your lips to hers. She kisses back, fingers moving from clutching at the hem of your shirt to scraping down the back of your neck. You're not exactly sure what to do with your hands, but eventually you settle for curling your finger in the belt loop of her jeans. However, when your hands move up, moving barely under her shirt to touch her smooth skin, she pulls back sharply, pressing her fingers to her lips. ''Okay,'' she manages breathlessly, pointing an accusing finger in your direction. ''You have got to stop doing that.''

''What if I don't want to stop doing that?''

''Haley, come _on_...''

''What?'' You're getting tired with her attitude. She really doesn't seem to believe that you want this and you do. Honestly. You do. It's strange, but it's true. You want this and you want her and it's weird and possibly wrong, but it's what you want. ''Why is it so hard for you to believe that I know what I want? Huh? Do you think that little of me? I'm not some confused teenager. I know what I want and what I want is you!''

''But why? Why would you want me?''

''I don't know!'' You burst out, throwing your arms out. ''I just..._do._ Can't we...Can't we at least try?''

She doesn't answer for a moment and you hold your breath. She looks so tempted by the offer, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. When she answers, she answers with a sigh and a shake of her head, meeting your eyes. ''No.'' Your heart sinks. ''No, Haley, we can't_ try_. Just trust me, okay? You don't want someone as fucked up as I am.''

''Ruby - ''

''No!'' She backs away from you when you reach for her, shaking her head adamantly. ''You do not want me. Just...deal with it. You'll get over me fast. I know you will. Just forget about me, Haley.'' She turns away and walks out the door just like that and you can't quite manage to reach her in time.

You're left alone in a room that feels too cold all of a sudden and you're not quite sure what to feel. All you know is that it hurts. A lot. It's like a million pins and needles pricking you at the same time. Your chest starts to ache, that old familiar feeling that you're about to cry and you just wish you could disappear. But then there's a knock at the door. Your mind is still kind of numb, so it doesn't exactly register until you open the door and you meet her blue eyes.

She's leaning against the doorframe, looking tired and worn and you don't know what to say here. Luckily for you, she saves you from having to think of something to say when she pushes off the door, steps forwards and kisses you.

''I meant what I said,'' she breathes when she pulls away briefly. ''I am really fucked up.''

''That's okay,'' you murmur softly. ''I am too.''

You kiss her again and this time, you throw everything you've got left into the kiss.

* * *

It's a new kind of song and dance.

But it's still a song you can learn to sing and still a dance you think you'd like to know.

(And besides, you're really going to like the look on Dean Winchester's face when he sees you next.)

**end**

* * *

**AN: And there you have it. Forgive me for turning Dean into a villain. Originally, the story was not supposed to have a happy ending and Ruby was supposed to end up being a terrible, terrible person who destroyed both Dean and Haley, but halfway through I realized I really wanted to give Haley and Ruby a happy ending and the urge to turn Dean into Kathryn Merteuil which had been bugging at me since the start was just too strong to fight. **

**On another note, I have a story recommendation that I just have to mention. **_**Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge **_**by ****is a One Tree Hill/Supernatural crossover focusing on the friendship between Brooke Davis and Ruby and I think it was just an amazing story and definitely worth checking out.**


	2. Suffocate: The Soundtrack

Well, this was unplanned. Nevertheless, it was fun to do.

* * *

**1. Suffocate - Cold**

(This song, aside from sharing a title with the fic (which was actually coincidental) tells a story of a dysfunctional relationship, something that was twisted and tangled and basically one big web of lies. That's why it fits so well with this story. It's impossible to pick just one line from the song that fits the story, so I have a few I'd like to share. _''I could take every fucking game you play, blow it all away, but would you even care?''_ That line symbolizes how Haley discovered the game Dean and Ruby were playing and confronted Ruby about it, effectively ending the game. Of course we all know Ruby had stopped caring about the game by then, her feelings for Haley running deeper than she ever thought they would. _''I could take all those lies you said to me; never go away, never disappear.'' _That line tells the story of Dean and Haley's relationship. What she thought was real turned out to be a lie. Just part of his game. All that sweetness she thought he had inside of him was never real at all. And finally; _''Suffocate, you suffocate. That you lie (I don't lie), that you're fake (I'm not fake). Suffocate, you suffocate. You always take (I don't take), what you can (what I can).''_ I think that pretty much sums up the entire story as a twisted and dark game of seduction and suffocation that started out innocently, got dangerous and then got all too real for one player who in the end, was not as strong as she appeared and just wanted it all to stop.)

* * *

**2. Hysteria - Muse**

(_''It's bugging me, grating me and twisting me around.''_ Growing increasingly confused about her sexual identity, Haley, a wife and mother and someone who is used to being the sweet, innocent little wallflower, is unexplainably drawn towards the dark and seductive and oh yeah, _demonic_ Ruby. She doesn't know why, all she knows is that the Want and Need is powerful. _'' 'Cause I want it now, I want it now; give me your heart and soul. And I'm breaking out, I'm breaking out; last chance to lose control.''_)

* * *

**3. Post Blue - Placebo**

(It wasn't actually the admittedly fitting lyrics that drew me to this song as an inspiration for this story. It was the tune. Dark and edgy, like most Placebo songs (and trust me when I say it was difficult not to create a soundtrack consisting of ALL Placebo songs) something about this song screams raw, unadulterated sexual energy. Not to mention the lyrics fit not only Ruby and Haley, but Dean and Ruby's twisted and mutually abusive 'relationship.' _''Bite the hand that feeds. Tap the vein that bleeds. Down on my bended knees. I'd break the back of love for you, I'd break the back of love for you, I'd break the back of love for you, I'd break the back of love for you.''_)

* * *

**4. Catch and Release - Silversun Pickups**

(First of all, let me say I will always regret not being able to go to see this band when I had the chance. But moving on. In my opinion, this song is about not only someone attempting to lure someone into their world, but that same someone wanting to live a different life so the person sings to them about how great it will be if they just let go. _''Come and see, how the wind in your hair will feel differently.''_ Not only that, but it is a sexually charged song, from the lyrics to the melody and I think it fits perfectly with Haley and Ruby's evolving relationship both physically and emotionally._ ''Follow me down the streams of sweat on your body. Can't believe, the lure was enough.''_)

* * *

**5. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry**

(This song is about bisexual experimentation. There's no way to hide that. There's no way to sugarcoat it either. The song is about a girl who got drunk, kissed another girl and found she liked it. For that simple reason, it fits this story. No, Haley never got drunk and made out with Ruby, but when Ruby kissed her first, she kissed back and despite the confusion, she found she liked it. _''This was never the way I planned, not my intention.''_ However, unlike the story, the girl in the song made it clear that it _''don't mean I'm in love tonight.''_ But, c'mon. You write a story like this, you simply have to put this hit song on the soundtrack, right? It's just too amazingly fitting not to. _''I kissed a girl and I liked it. The taste of her cherry chapstick.''_)

* * *

**6. Front Row - Metric**

(Much like _Post Blue_, what drew me to _this_ song for _this_ soundtrack was the tune. The beat, the melody. It just fit. The song is about the dangers of fame and the dangers of the music industry. It has a line in it about how _''he's not perfect, he's my hero, smashing the piano, spitting on the front row.''_ And while the smashing the piano and spitting on the front row may describe Dean Winchester's villain role in this story, he is most definitely not a hero. But the frantic beat and the frenzied singing just seem to mesh with the speed of the story. And, like all songs, you can always find at least _one_ line that sticks out and _fits_. _''I'm in the front row with a bottle; don't know what I can't decide.''_)

* * *

**7. Snow White Queen - Evanescence**

(Actually, what really strikes me about this song, besides the haunting beat, is how it fits the battle Dean and Ruby had over Haley. They were both playing her and seducing her. She was essentially their Snow White Queen. _''You belong to me, my snow white queen. There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.''_ Their little game worked out fine. Until Ruby got in too deep and actually developed feelings for Haley, losing control of her game in the process. _''Don't scream anymore, my love, 'cause all I want is you.''_)

* * *

**8. Kiss With A Fist - Florence + The Machine**

(_''You hit me once, I hit you back. You gave a kick, I gave a slap. You smashed a plate over my head then I set fire to our bed.''_ Hmm, I wonder which couple that fits? That's right. This song is the Dean/Ruby anthem for this story. Their relationship is mutually abusive, self-destructive, terrifying, unhealthy and just plain fucked up beyond belief. And yet they _do_ truly love each other. Or at least, she loves him. They have a hell of a lot of flaws in this story. Ruby is a self loathing masochist and Dean...well, Dean is just a fucked up jackass. They like to beat the shit out of each other, they like to scream and call each other names and yet, to them, it is probably the healthiest, not to mention longest, relationship either of them have ever been in. And isn't that just a little bit pathetic? I mean, I love them both in the show and in stories. But they are two very pathetic characters. _''A kick in the teeth is good for some. A kiss with a fist is better than none.''_)

* * *

**9. How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths**

(Why, yes. Yes this is the _Charmed _theme song. Except this isn't the _Love Spit Love_ cover. This is the original, baby. Aside from this being an all around awesome song (and one of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time according to Rolling Stone magazine) the lyrics showcase what I hope the story showcased. _''I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does.'' _While Ruby technically wasn't human, all she really craved was love. She certainly didn't get it from Dean, but with Haley...with Haley it was something completely different. This song shows how beat down Ruby is in the relationship department and how along came Haley James and made her feel something that wasn't self destructive for a change. _''See, I've already waited too long. And all my hope is gone.''_ In the end, of course, Ruby got her happy ending. And Dean just got his headlights bashed in.)

* * *

**10. All the Things She Said - t.A.T.u**

(If you know the story of t.A.T.u then you know that they were Russian teenagers who were blatantly portrayed as lesbians in a scheme their manager cooked up. This was their first single, a song that tells the story of a girl falling in love with another girl and wondering if the way she feels is wrong. The video involved a bunch of girls cavorting and kissing and when this song won the duo an award, they went up on stage and made out a little, thereby earning themselves the image of ''those Russian lesbians.'' The girls did eventually come out as straight, both playing the victim card and saying they had no idea they would have to pose as lesbians when they signed their contract. Despite the controversy, this song still remains wildly popular and was a major influence for this story. It tells not only of Haley's longing for Ruby, _''I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out,''_ but also Ruby's growing feelings for Haley, _''They say it's my fault but I want her so much.''_ Fun fact: This story came _this _close to being titled ''All the Things She Said'' before I finally decided on ''Suffocate.'')

* * *

**11. I Can't Stay Away - The Veronicas**

(_''I'm conflicted. I inhale; now I'm addicted.''_ After that one kiss, Haley could no longer deny that the want she had for Ruby was deep and incredibly powerful. With this song, The Veronicas weave a story of a desperate affair that is wrong, addictive and like a drug. It fits Haley's feelings. After that one kiss, she couldn't let Ruby go even if she tried. Also, am I the only one who finds this line _''I was numb, for you I come'' _entirely sexual?)

* * *

**12. Closer - Burn Season**

(To take a beloved character like Dean Winchester, who is portrayed as a hero and turn him into a crazed, sex addicted maniac, jerky villain dude was...just _awesome._ Revealed halfway through the story to be the dark mastermind behind The Vicious Game, Dean was a self assured, smug ass who basically thought he was God's gift to woman. He didn't feel bad for what he was doing, he didn't regret destroying lives, he didn't even care about Ruby, his so-called...whatever the fuck she was to him. What fits that more than _''You say there's something that's wrong in my head. So I like to bleed. You say I'm scaring you now but I'm tired from watching you sleep.''_ I love Hero!Dean. But I think I'm beginning to love Evil!Dean even more. _''Don't say that it's over. I'd kill to be closer. I'd kill to be closer. You can't live without me.''_)

* * *

**13. The Wreckoning - Boomkat**

(_''I came, I saw, I kicked some ass; the pain I cause, it makes me laugh. 'Cause the way I do my thing is strange. I just inject myself into your veins.''_ Despite gaining somewhat of a redemption in the end, Ruby did start off playing Haley. She _was_ a heartless bitch. She'll always have an acid tongue and sharp claws no matter who she falls in love with. _''The sun will rise and it's about time for the wreckoning. Time, time for this girl to sing.''_)

* * *

**14. Monster - Meg and Dia**

(Again, a Dean song. While Dean may not have gone as far as what I think this song is implying, he at least bruised Haley's ego a little. He tricked her into believing he was this righteous man who only wanted to protect her. Who could have loved her. And then it was all torn down when his true identity was revealed. _''That night he caged her. Bruised and broke her. He struggled closer. Then he stole her.''_)

* * *

**15. Miss Murder - AFI**

(_''With just a look they shook and heavens bowed before him. Simply a look can break your heart.'' _While it was never really touched upon in the story, Dean and Ruby have done this many times and too many other girls. Possibly maybe even some guys. They both knew their sexual appeal and they both knew what they could make people do. They could make people do anything they wanted too and they knew it. They used it to their advantage. It was almost morbidly fascinating, the tales they would spin to get people into bed. Hmm, do I smell a prequel in the air? _''Hey, Miss Murder, can I? Hey, Miss Murder, can I? Make beauty stay if I take my life?''_)

* * *

**16. Circus - Britney Spears**

(Yes, Ruby's tough and kick ass and can't be tamed. _''Well, baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of girl.''_ Yes, she can play the game very well. _''I'm like a ring leader. I call the shots.'' _But I think Haley proved that she is not just a wallflower and she can, in fact, kick some serious ass on occasion. I mean, hell, that girl bashed in the Impala's headlights because Dean did her wrong. Despite the fact that she was forced to shoot her own sister in the head _''Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break''_ that girl is _tough_ with a capital T. _''All eyes on me in the center of the ring. Just like a circus. When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip. Just like a circus.''_)

* * *

**17. Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall**

(To me, this song is about a girl crush. _''Her face is a map of the world. Is a map of the world. You can see she's a beautiful girl. She's a beautiful girl.''_ It also tells a story of a girl everyone loves. While everyone may not have loved Ruby, something about her drew Haley in. _''She holds you captivated in her palm.''_ There's a line in the story about how Haley so badly wants to know everything about Ruby. Wants to be a part of her world. And this song is the perfect kind of song for that. Whether it's friendship, admiration or lust, this song is about one girl to another. _''Suddenly I see. This is what I wanna be. Suddenly I see. Why the hell it means so much to me.''_

* * *

**18. Use Somebody - Laura Jansen**

(Originally sung by Kings of Leon, this song is covered by Dutch singer-songwriter Laura Jansen and the upbeat yet emotional song is turned into a slow piano ballad about desperately searching for something. _''I've been roaming around, always looking down at all I see. Painted faces fill the places I can't reach. You know that I could use somebody.''_ After the death of her mother and the murders of her sisters, Haley had everything stripped away from her from her son to her friends. She went on the road with the Winchesters and despite her calm appearance, she was broken inside. And then Ruby came. _''Someone like you and all you know and how you speak.''_ She was emotionless and strong and yet Haley instantly forged a connection with the demoness, eventually falling into somewhat of a relationship with her. _''I hope it's gonna make you notice. I hope it's gonna make you notice...Someone like me.''_ Not to mention the lyrics at the end _''I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready now''_ fit perfectly with Haley and Ruby's confrontation at the end.)

* * *

**19. Quicksand - Everly**

(Sung by Bethany Joy herself, this song is a perfect addition to the story, a welcome love song in the midst of all these...well, _not_ love songs. This is the end song. After leaving Dean in the dust, Haley misses Ruby more than she'll ever admit, _''I'm not the same. I can't sleep nights and now I'm callin' your name when I do''_ and she eventually goes to Bobby's in search of the blonde that had wormed her way into her head and her heart. Ruby shows up in the middle of the night and Haley's still pretty darn fragile, but at least her ending has somewhat of a hopeful message. _''You're holding my hand and holding my heart, but I just want to feel your breath inside me so I can breathe. Somewhere in the distance I catch a spark of grace; I hope it's something that makes me feel like I'm alive.''_ Haley James and Ruby are an odd couple. There's no denying that. But I think I've fallen in love with them. They could definitely have something going on there. One thing is for sure; I can totally see more Haley/Ruby stories in my future.


End file.
